Will it make you bitter or better?

Stuff happens.  That’s just life.  But why is it that some people manage to get through their challenges, leaving only a distant memory behind, while other people carry that baggage with them, metaphorically living out of that suitcase for years, or even for the rest of their lives?

I remember reading a story about two brothers who were brought up by an abusive, alcoholic father.  One brother grew up to finish his education, get a job, fall in love, get married and have a family of his own.  The other brother took a different path, falling into drugs and crime and eventually ending up in jail.

When the first brother was asked how he managed to build a life of love and success, his response was “Given my upbringing and the type of father I had, what other choice was there?”

The second brother was asked the same question.  How did you end up taking drugs, doing crime and going to jail?  His response was “Given my upbringing and the type of father I had, what other choice was there?”

Both brothers went through the same traumas growing up yet, they chose two different outcomes for their lives.

Why is that?

Often, when we hear stories of people who end up in terrible situations – drugs, alcohol, crime or jail – we can feel sorry for them and say things like “Oh, it was because of their childhood, their parents, something their teachers did or didn’t do, etc.” – as though the events of the past are the excuse for why that person is in the situation they are in.

Were those events tragic? Yes.  Did the person deserve to be abused or neglected? Absolutely not. But should those terrible events and circumstances determine the eventual outcome of that person’s life?

I don’t believe so.

Every one of us has the opportunity to make choices and decisions every single day of our lives. We can’t change the past.  We can’t undo the hurt, the damage and destruction that occurred in the past. But we can certainly choose not to live in the past.

Painful events take place in everyone’s lives.  We can either learn, grow and move on from those events, or we can continue to live in those events by rehashing and reliving them day after day.

It is your choice. Make a decision today to be better rather than bitter.