What we see depends mainly on what we look for. ~Sir John Lubbock
Do you know someone who seems to block their own progress? They seem to self-sabotage any steps forward from the get-go.
Picture this scenario.
A friend comes to you with a problem. It might be a new problem, or it’s one they’ve been grappling with for quite some time.
You suggest a couple of things they could try and you are immediately hit with a myriad of reasons why those suggestions won’t work.
You come up with another suggestion. Yet another big list of excuses is presented.
Another suggestion. Another list.
It’s as though they want to prove to you (and justify to themselves) why their problem is such a problem and why it cannot be overcome.
It’s exhausting. And eventually, you give up trying to help them move forward and sadly, you eventually stop wanting to deal with them and their problems.
The scenario I describe is not an unusual one. And to be honest, I think each and every one of us has fallen into this ‘stuck’ thinking at times. It’s not fun. And the problem can feel so overwhelming that our minds can’t seem to give an inch to exploring possible solutions.
The thing is, we do want the situation to change. But often what we don’t want to do is to make the change happen.
“I want the situation to change” versus “I want to change the situation”.
There’s a big difference between those two statements.
Coming up with lists of excuses simply shows that we are still stuck in victim mentality. The problem is someone else’s to fix.
“When they – governments, schools, bosses, family members, friends, or anyone else other than me – do something, then my problem will go away.”
Sure, victim mentality makes us feel free of responsibility, but it keeps us stuck in situations and circumstances that we don’t want.
Taking charge of our own thinking and actions is what will enable us to overcome our problems, shift circumstances and change our situations.
Looking at all the reasons why trying something won’t work will not get us any closer to what will work.
Keep looking at the problem and you’ll simply see the problem – and you’ll just get to experience more of the problem.
Explore and look at solutions and you’ll see solutions – and you’ll get to experience those solutions.
