Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ~ Oscar Wilde
That quote by Oscar Wilde got me thinking.
Have you ever questioned any of your beliefs?
And by questioned I mean, have you ever thought about what you believe and why you believe it? Is something you believe a belief because you thought about it, examined it, explored other perspectives and then decided it to be true for you, or is it something that was believed by those around you and so you simply accepted it?
We all have beliefs that we don’t even know are simply that – beliefs. They aren’t facts. Although, when we talk about them we present them as though they are facts. We’ll argue our point to exhaustion and then judge and criticise those who cannot recognise the truth – albeit, our version of the truth.
We are all conditioned into ways of believing, thinking and being – by our parents, our schools, friends, the communities in which we live, the media, social media, and the list goes on. And there are often uncomfortable consequences should we express a different perspective. The consequences can be too much to face, so even the idea of exploring other perspectives can be far too confronting. We then silence those questions and doubts and go along with what those around us say.
But what happens when someone questions our beliefs? How defensive do we get? Does our defensiveness come from that deep place within that has also been questioning that belief but which we’ve silenced?
If our belief is strong, considered and foundational to our lives, we won’t respond defensively. We’ll accept that others may not see things the way we do and be open to listening to their views as a way of getting to know them better – their backgrounds, their value systems, their way of life.
Understanding what someone else believes and why they believe it is no threat to those who understand why they themselves believe what they believe.
Beliefs are personal. And because they are personal, they need to be questioned, examined and consciously decided upon – not simply accepted because that’s what those around us have told us and shown us to believe.
