Finding the good in the bad and ugly experiences of life

Life can throw us an amazing array of experiences – the good, the bad and the ugly! But despite how we may label that experience, particularly when we are using the bad and ugly labels – it’s important for us to look for the good we received out of that experience.

Particularly challenging is looking for the good when we are right in the midst of what we are experiencing as a negative situation.  And to be honest, there are times that the good only becomes apparent many years down the track after that challenging time.

But why is it important to look for the good, and is doing so simply an attempt to sugar-coat something that was bad?

Absolutely not.  This is not about denial.

I went through a terrible divorce many years ago.  There was emotional turmoil, heartbreak, financial loss, and even a real fear for my own safety at one stage.  These are facts. They happened and I am in no way pretending that they didn’t happen nor am I pretending that they weren’t awful.  But here’s the thing, I can continue to focus on those aspects or, I can look at the events from a different perspective.

How can I change the perspective?  By asking myself the question:  What good was there in those events for me?

Well, what also happened was that I discovered my own emotional strength, I became a more compassionate person than I used to be, and I experienced incredible spiritual growth in a way that I don’t think any other experience could have given me.

There was good in it for me.

I now have a wonderful life and I wouldn’t go back and change a thing because that experience was just one of the things I had to go through to get me to where I am today.  And I love where I am today!

I now apply that perspective when I’m going through a challenging time.  Even if I can’t identify the good right in the midst of that experience, I know that given some time, I’ll look back on these particular events and see what a positive impact they’ve had.

I’m a firm believer that we can find the good in any situation if we look hard enough.  OK, it may not be apparent whilst we are in the middle of one of those bad or ugly times, but once we’ve come out the other end and look back, we can choose to either continue to view that event through a negative lens, or we can change the filter on our lens and view the event differently.

Perhaps you’ve been carrying around with you a memory of an experience that you’ve only ever labelled as negative.  What would happen if you changed the filter on your lens?

Maybe it’s time to ask yourself these questions:

• What good was there in it for me?
• Did anything about me change for the better?
• Am I any wiser following that experience?
• Did my world view expand as a result?
• Did I learn something new about myself, other people or the world?

Remember:

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.