Letting go of what you know in order to move forward into uncertainty is much easier said than done. Fear of the unknown is a common blocker that many of us use as a reason to stay stuck and ‘making do’ with whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.
Sometimes we clearly articulate that the thing that is stopping us is fear. We are afraid to step forward and try something new. At other times, we don’t simply say we are afraid. Instead we use lots of ‘What if…?’ questions.
- What if the next job is worse than the one I’m in?
- What if I run out of money?
- What if I try this and find out it was a mistake?
- What if I leave my relationship and end up lonely?
- What if I make a fool of myself?
- What if I fail?
The fact that you find yourself asking ‘What if…?’ questions probably means that there is some sort of longing or discontent with how things are today. It’s a clue for exploring what else is possible for you.
When asking the ‘What if…?’ questions, make sure you answer them!
Don’t just leave each ‘What if….?’ question hanging, as if the question itself is a reason not to take that first step in the direction of your dreams.
- So, what if the next job is worse than the one I’m in? Well, if it is, then I’ll look for something else.
- What if I run out of money? Well, if I plan ahead and save up, I can make that change with a buffer of cash to see me through. And if I run out of money, well, I can always go back to what I’m doing.
- What if I try this and find out it was a mistake? Well, I’ll know that this direction wasn’t the right one for me and I can go on to try something else. I’d rather know than regret never having tried.
- What if I leave my relationship and end up lonely? Well, I have some great friends – I know I won’t be lonely.
- What if I make a fool of myself? Well, who decides what’s foolish? Perhaps taking this step is a demonstration of my bravery in trying something new. Having the courage to try something new is an admirable quality.
- What if I fail? Well, what if I do? Is it really failure, or will I have learned something new? When Thomas Edison was asked how he coped with failing over 1,000 times in creating the light bulb, he said that he didn’t fail – he said that the light bulb creation process took 1,000 steps. Failure is really just another learning.
Now, doing a risk assessment is not a bad thing in itself. In fact, if you are making big decisions, assessing the risks is a prudent action to take. But what we need to realise is that if we are going to assess the risks of making a change, then we also need to address an even bigger question.
What if I do nothing?
What is the risk associated with that decision? Do I want to be in this exact position one year from now, feeling the way I feel, doing what I’m doing, and living the way I’m living?
Choosing to do nothing is a decision and it’s a decision that has a consequence. The consequence is that you, your life, and your circumstances will remain the same.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that decision if you are happy to keep your life as it is today.
However, if feelings of longing for something different are arising, or you are feeling a level of discontent with certain areas of your life, it could be that nudge you need to prompt you into taking some action.
The only person who can make any decision about whether or not to make a change in your life is you. It’s OK to ask the ‘What if…?’ questions when exploring possibilities. Just don’t get stuck in the questions themselves. Get curious about the answers.
And also remember to also explore the big question: “What if I do nothing?”
