It breaks my heart when I witness so many people around me who don’t see, let alone value, what they have in their lives, whether it be their own gifts and talents or the material things in their lives.
The desire to have what others have can apply to virtually any area of life but the most common focus for us tends to be on the material things. Someone has a bigger house, or a nicer car, or wears designer labels, or…. And the list goes on.
When a baby is born it is born knowing that it is perfect. It doesn’t lay in a cot next to another baby comparing the size of the cot, the colour of the blanket, wishing it had more hair, richer parents, and more brothers and sisters. No. The baby is content and accepting as it is.
It’s as we grow up that we notice differences and sadly, we are taught the values to apply to those differences. This teaching doesn’t just apply to what we observe outside of ourselves – that is, comparing other people to other people. We learn to apply value to how we compare ourselves to other people.
You already know this:
Comparing ourselves to others to determine our own worth and value is a mistake.
How can we make comparisons between beings that are so incredibly unique? As the saying goes, it’s like trying to compare apples with oranges.
What’s an even bigger mistake however, is to compare ourselves to others based on only what we see of their outside life. Just like a play, we are only witnessing a show or a display. We have no idea what is going on behind the scenes.
The couple with the bigger, more beautiful house may be living in a miserable marriage and on the verge of divorce.
The person with the nicer car may be overwhelmed by lease payments and debts and is currently heading towards bankruptcy.
The person wearing designer labels may be using the labels to artificially boost their self-esteem because they are unable to form or hold onto any relationship with meaning.
You have no idea what goes on in other people’s lives. What you see is what they want you to see. It might be real, but it might not.
What you do know about though, is your own life. Do you appreciate what you have in your life right now? Do you make an effort to express what it is you are grateful for?
If you can’t help yourself and just have to make comparisons, then change what you are using as a basis of comparison. Instead of comparing your life to that of other people’s, compare your current life to the life you’d love to be living.
Is there a gap?
Perhaps it’s time to focus on what you have and what you want instead of what you believe others have.
Your life isn’t about them. It’s about you.
