When we set off on our journey to make a change in our lives, there can often be resistance that comes up from those closest to us.
Sometimes we know the reaction that’s coming and at other times the backlash can take us by surprise.
Just as we have fears that bubble up when things around us change, the same thing happens to those around us when we bring about a change.
When you start doing or thinking differently, you are upsetting the status quo. And that is really uncomfortable not only for you, but also for those around you.
“Why do you want to leave your job/move house/go traveling/etc?” they ask.
Well, it may seem that they want to understand why you want what you want, but do they really? Even if you give them your reasons, you’ll soon realise that what they are really trying to figure out is why you don’t want what they want. Why you don’t see things the way that they do. In many instances, it will make absolutely no sense to them that you could see things differently, or that you may actually want different things for your life.
Of course, you may find that your current network is very supportive of your new direction and is very accepting of your choices. If that’s the case for you, then that is awesome. Be grateful for this incredible blessing.
This isn’t about abandoning your family or your friends if resistance shows up. It’s about limiting your exposure to criticism and the unnecessary negativity to your ideas, desires and direction. It’s OK to set boundaries around what you will and will not discuss with certain people and it is OK to limit your exposure to the people who are most unsupportive.
This is about bringing supportive people into your network and increasing the time spent with people who support you and your new direction. It’s about researching and finding as much supportive information on your desired area so that you are exposing your mind to possibilities, not limitations.
Having the right support network is really important. Making a change to your life takes courage. You’ll have enough of your own self-doubts and fears to battle, so to take on other people’s fears and reactions creates additional distractions from your goals.
Rather than trying to justify your desires and your right to live your life, just get on with it. Show them your best self and show them what living your true life looks like.
This is your journey, your goals, your desires and your life. Spend time with people who want you to be the best you that you can be, not the you that they want you to be.
Find people who will push you forward, not hold you back.
When you stumble and fall, your false support network will say things like “Well, you gave it a good go.” and then be happy for you to go back to your old ways. But your true support network will cheer you on when things get rough, they’ll pick you up when you fall, push your forward, and they’ll celebrate with you when you succeed.
Here’s to your success!
And on a side note, as I was writing up this blog, I came across this video by Louise Presley-Turner. In it, Louise shares her take on just the same subject. I thought you might find it helpful.
