I love this quote by Anais Nin:
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
It was a quote that really resonated with me and started me off on my journey of doing what I love, which is being a life transformation coach and helping people design and build the life they would love to be living.
I think that for most of my adult life, I could see so much potential in people that they didn’t see in themselves. In a way, them being convinced of their ‘stuckness’ was the same for me. I couldn’t see my own potential.
I was set on a life path that was laid out for me by other people. By that I mean – my family, my friends, schooling, and basically – society as a whole. Just like everyone else, I was conditioned into believing that life worked in a certain way and that there were things I was supposed to do and to want. There were certain ways I was expected to behave, and even just ‘to be’. My whole upbringing and my surrounds even influenced what it was I could dream of – what was and wasn’t possible for my life. And it was all very limiting.
Of course, once conditioned, everyone else’s voices simply got replaced by my own.
What was interesting was that I could look at other people and their self-imposed limits, and challenge them. It was so plain to me that they were capable of being, doing, and having so much more than they believed they could because of what had been drummed into them. But for me – well, of course, I had so many ‘reasons’ (aka, excuses) as to why I couldn’t be, do or have more.
Sure, it was fine for other people. They didn’t come from the family I came from. They didn’t have the background I had. They didn’t have to live up to the expectations of others around them like I had to. They weren’t stuck like I was.
Anyone that I came across who managed to step outside of the norm, who went after their dreams and forged a new path for their life, well, they were different. They were courageous.
I admired their courage however, I was hardly what I would call courageous.
But there was something that kept niggling at me for years. Maybe it was seeing that other people could change their lives. Maybe it was coming across so many examples of people who came from what can only be described as horrific backgrounds and experiences, yet who were not defined by past events, but were living rich and fulfilling lives. Maybe it was finally understanding that if it is possible for one, it IS possible.
For far too long, I had focused on the obstacles – why I couldn’t, why it wasn’t possible, why any ideas I had wouldn’t work, what could go wrong – instead putting any real focus on what I would love, what could be different or what was possible. Until, eventually, my inner voice of discontent got so loud that I couldn’t ignore it.
That’s when I started to develop courage. That’s when I started to try new things – terribly afraid that I would fail, but persevering anyway. And what I found was:
simply the act of trying was enough to encourage me to take the next step.
Even if something didn’t work, there was always something I learned from that experience that helped me grow. It also taught me that I could try something else.
That’s how I got started in life coaching and why I teach the concepts of life transformation.
And that’s the point of today’s blog.
I wasn’t born courageous. All those people I admired for forging new paths for their lives – they weren’t born with courage either.
Courage is developed. And it can only be developed by trying something new, something scary. And whatever you try – whether you succeed or fail at it, it’s that simple act of trying that will develop your courage.
Only you know whether your life is shrinking or expanding over time. Only you can hear which inner voice is louder – that of conditioned limitations or that of your dreams. But if you are someone whose inner voice of discontent is getting so loud that you can no longer ignore it, then maybe it’s time to start developing courage and, as Eleanor Roosevelt said,
“Do something that scares you every day.”
