In this series, I’m taking you through the 5 Dynamical Deeds that you need to complete in order to create the life of your dreams.
We’ve already explored Dynamical Deeds #1 – destination, #2 – deadline, and #3 – desire. If you missed those, I encourage you to follow the links to read the articles and watch the videos.
Today we’ll be looking at Dynamical Deed number 4: Decision.
The decision to make a decision – a real decision – is probably one of the most frequent subjects I address through my blogs and videos because this is one of the most critical, but most ignored, steps a person needs to take in order to regain control of their lives.
Owning the results in your life
Every decision you have made in your past has led you to be living the life you are living right now. The big decisions and the small decisions – they all count. It’s really important that you understand this because, in exactly the same way, the decisions you make today will determine the results you experience tomorrow.
If you want to see different results in your life, you are going to have to have a good, hard look at the decisions you make each and every day.
The problem is that, today, in a world where instant gratification is the driving force for so many people, individuals don’t want to take responsibility for the long-term consequences of their short-term decision making. Instead of accepting results as an outcome of their own decisions, people look to blame someone else. Their parents. Their boss. The government. The economy. Anyone – rather than facing their own part in not taking responsibility for what they can take responsibility for and for the poor decisions they have made.
So, what is a poor decision? Well, that is simply about how well the decision is aligned, or not aligned, with your future goals.
If your goal is to lose 10 kilos, then choosing to eat that piece of chocolate cake could be considered a poor decision. Pretty obvious, right?
Well, not obvious for the instant gratification person. Common justifications for their poor decision usually go something like: “I’ll be exercising later.” Or “I have been good all week.” Or “It’s just this once.”
And funnily enough, when they aren’t losing the weight they want, they will blame their metabolism, the people who served up the food, their parents, their genes, the sugar industry – or anyone else they can think of, rather than taking responsibility for being the one who decided to put the cake in their own mouth.
What about financial decisions? If your goal is to put money into saving for a home deposit but instead you give in to the temptation to upgrade to the latest version of a smartphone for you or for one of your kids, then I would call that out as a poor decision.
Of course, when people do something like this – and this is a pretty common example – the justifications for why this is the right decision will come pouring forth from their mouths. Just try telling a someone that spending over $1,000 for a phone upgrade (when there’s nothing wrong with their existing phone) is a poor decision. Watch how quickly they will resort to justifying why spending $1,000 on a phone is a better decision than putting that cash into their savings.
The reality is that by giving in to short-term, instant gratification, people sacrifice long-term benefits.
Making tough choices and real decisions comes with being an adult. It’s time to be a grown-up.
If you want to see different results in your life, it’s time to start taking responsibility for each and every big and little decision you make every single day.
Short-term gratification versus long-term benefits. The choice is yours. The responsibility is yours and the results are yours.
So why do so many people find decision making so hard?
A lack of decision making can appear in the most insignificant scenarios – such as making a choice on what to order from a menu, through to the big, life-altering events such as buying a house.
For some, decision making is quick and definite. For others… well, not so much.
For many people, making a decision brings up one of the biggest fear-based questions
What if I get it wrong?
Of course, it makes sense to give yourself some time in exploring your options when making decisions on those big-ticket items such as choosing to marry or not, having children or not, or buying a house, or taking on a large loan to buy that expensive car. The risks associated with getting the decision wrong are greater. And of course, the pay-off if you get the decision right is also greater. However, even after pondering and exploring options, at some point, you will have to make a decision. And there is no absolute guarantee that you’ll make the perfect decision.
What doesn’t make sense is to ponder endlessly on those things that we would consider minor decisions – those that don’t involve great risk or deliver significant pay-offs.
When studying the concept of managing priorities, I came across these 5 tips in terms of speeding up decision making:
- To succeed in anything in life, you will experience failure. It’s ok to make a decision that isn’t right. Work on feeling OK about getting it wrong, learning from it, and then moving on.
- The answer already exist in your heart and your instincts. Tap into it.
- The right decision is the one that immediately pops up via your instincts – it’s our thinking that gets in the way and complicates things. Pay attention to your first response.
- Stop asking everyone for their opinion. Start backing your own instincts.
- Re-adjust your expectations on getting 100% of all decisions right:
- Minor decisions only need to be right 25% of the time
- Medium decisions need to be right about 50% of the time
- Major decisions need to be right about 85% of the time
So, in summary, my advice is: don’t sweat the small stuff. Free up your time by putting your energy into the big-ticket items and make your decisions count. Make decisions that support you in getting to that dream life that you’d love to be living.
Why?
Because life is short. It is really short. And you only get so many chances to make decisions and take action on living the life that you would truly love.
In one of my early posts, I shared the story of a friend of mine who had passed away far too young.
She was vibrant, active, fit and, by all appearances, healthy.
Then out of the blue, she was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour. She had just enough time between being diagnosed and when she passed to get her papers in order.
She also had enough time to reflect on her life and the things she had done and what would be forever left undone.
When I visited her in hospital, she shared with me how she had kept putting things off – to finally give up work; to start playing golf; to finally relax and spend her savings on doing things for herself.
There were so many plans but she had decided not to action them, to put them off until a better time, a better financial situation, or until she thought she deserved it.
One reflective story really struck me.
She had wanted a new bedroom suite for many years. She kept putting it off; waiting “until…”.
She had had a successful career and she could definitely afford a new bedroom suite, but in her own words she said “I was too mean to buy it for myself.”
She told me that she had, in fact, finally got around to buying it. It was delivered just before her diagnosis and being admitted into hospital.
She shook her head in disbelief when she said: “I didn’t even get to sleep in it!”
My friend wasn’t that different to you and me. What about that bucket list of things we want to do or try in our lives? The things that are planned for “one day”?
For some people, that “one day” never comes.
You have a burning desire in your heart to be living a life of your own design. Don’t wait for that “one day” or “until…”
It’s time to make a decision – a real decision – about the life you have right now and the life you’d love to be living.
So, that’s Dynamical Deed #4 done. Next time I’ll take you through the final Dynamical Deed on the top 5 list – Determination. In the meantime, if you want to get jump ahead and accelerate on designing, experiencing and stepping into the life that you’ve only dreamed of up until now, then join me on one of my upcoming webinars where we’ll work through these concepts and much, much more.
You can find more information and register here.
