I spent the weekend de-cluttering the cupboards under my bathroom sink. I had gotten tired of opening the cupboard doors, and just feeling overwhelmed with the mess that was in there. Yes, the things I accessed most often were sitting at the front, but there were just piles of stuff in there at the back. If I wanted to find something that I knew was in there but wasn’t something I needed very often, Oh boy… I’d be digging around, not seeing what I needed, getting frustrated and annoyed.
So, out it all came. Got sorted.
There were things I hadn’t used in years – and some things I had never used.
Some I gave away. But so much got thrown out because it was well past its use-by date, or just didn’t fit my life or my needs now.
I had medications stored in a container that I had kept “just in case”. They were so out of date. And the thing is, I remember doing this type of clean out a couple of years ago. I could have thrown out those old medications back then, but no – I hung onto them “just in case”. And so they sat there, taking up space, cluttering up the cupboard, for no real benefit.
And even whilst holding the old medications in my hand, ready to throw out, I looked at some of them and hesitated; they were out of date, and I still hesitated about throwing them out! Why? Well, just in case.
And guess what? That kind of thinking, that desire to hold onto things “just in case” permeates all areas of life. And in particular, hanging onto habits of thinking, hanging onto old belief systems – they create that same type of clutter.
When we live through life events, we create ways of managing through difficult situations. Just like the medication that was needed at a certain time to deal with a specific issue, we develop ways of responding, thinking and of behaving that enable us to deal with that something at that time. But the thing is, as we move on in life, we don’t throw out those behaviours or ways of thinking. We keep holding onto those ways just in case that situation arises again.
When we’ve been hurt, when we’ve suffered a loss, when someone has treated us badly, we create defence mechanisms to protect us at that time. Those defence mechanisms and ways of coping can be invaluable in helping us get through that particular situation at that particular point in time. But those same defence mechanisms don’t help us when we are no longer in that situation. In fact, those defence mechanisms actually turn into obstacles or blocks when we want to get on with life.
Think about yourself, or someone you know who has gone through difficult times. A bad relationship, perhaps. Now they are closed off. They don’t trust anyone. Why? Because they developed a belief that you will be hurt. You can’t trust people. It’s a way to protect yourself from ever having to experience that hurt again.
But what does that mean to you now, or in the future.
You WANT a relationship, and you HAVE the capacity to be open, to be vulnerable. However, those old beliefs are clutter – they are now obstacles preventing you from to getting to your openness and trust of others.
Sometimes, we have been carrying and adding so much clutter that we don’t even know what’s there. We hang onto things that are of no use to us anymore. They are well past their use-by dates and they are of no more benefit. In fact, they are now obstacles that prevent us from getting on with living the life we would love.
Perhaps it’s time to de-clutter your internal cupboards. See what’s in there and throw out the things that no longer have a place in your life.
