Many years ago I went to a conference on corporate communications and I remember that one of the speakers asked us brainstorm a list on all the possible ways to get employees who were resistant to organisational direction or strategy changes, to support and participate in the change.
We’d all come across these people before, so this was easy. We spent a few minutes brainstorming all the things we would normally do and came up with a pretty standard list:
- explicitly ask for their support
- explain why maintaining the status quo is a problem for the organisation
- spend more time with them to understand their fears around what was changing
- make them feel heard
- give them even more facts, more often, from more sources
These were all good ideas that work for the majority and yet, as many of us have learned, there are some people who just won’t accept any change to the status quo, regardless of the amount of effort you put into get them over the line.
The speaker then told us the most pragmatic strategy for dealing with people who resisted change. He said:
If you’ve tried all of those things that you just listed and it hasn’t worked, then stop putting any more time and energy into trying to bring these people along for the ride. Instead, use your energy to inform and support the vast majority of people who are willing to come on the journey with you.
Directing your attention to the nay-sayers, those who are glued to how things are today, will keep you stuck with how things are today. Instead, direct your attention, and the attention of those in the organisation, on the future. Focussing on the vision is what will maintain the momentum for moving toward that new future.
And this is sound advice for when you are creating change in your own personal life.
When you embark on your own personal journey of change, you’ll soon work out who in your life – your partner, the family, friends, colleagues, and social groups – is willing to support you in your personal transformation and who is not.
There will be those who jump on board to support you from the get-go. Others will wait to see some progress before they start backing you, and of course, there will be those that, no matter what support you ask of them, what you do, what progress you make – well, they’ll refuse to accept the changes you are making in your life.
When we finally work out what we want from life and we start making changes, the resistance, and even sabotage, from those closest to us can feel devastating. Our natural response is to want to persuade them to see how important this is to us and to get them to participate in our life-changing journey. But the bottom line is, there are some people in our circles, who, no matter what we do, will not buy into it.
There are many reasons for that resistance and I’ll explore those in a future article. But this isn’t about them. This is about you. It’s about what you need to do to keep moving forward.
Any significant change program within an organisation will see relationships between the organisation and some individuals end. Some people will move on by their own choice and for others, the choice will be made for them.
The same can happen in our personal lives. When you find you are no longer willing to sacrifice your future in order to maintain someone else’s comfort with the status quo, you are likely to find that some people will decide to opt out of your circle, and you may also find yourself distancing or even removing yourself from those who won’t support you and your new future.
Creating change in life takes energy, so stop putting your energy into those who deplete yours. This means you need to stop trying to convince those resisters. Stop trying to justify why you need this change for your life. Stop putting your energy into addressing their fears and issues. Stop doing those things because putting your attention and energy onto the nay-sayers means you’ll have no energy left to move your forward.
Instead, dedicate your energy on creating the future you would love. That’s what will get you there. And those who truly support you will willingly come along for the ride.
